Atlantic Face-off

My family arrived today from Anchorage. Over the next two weeks, we’re going to try to see a lot of Scotland, and maybe some of England too. American culture is not that far removed from British culture, but I expect we’ll focus a lot on the differences: Con-TRO-ver-sy versus CON-tro-ver-sy; biscuits and tea versus coffee and doughnuts; Toyota Yarises versus Toyota Tundras.

I’ve been here long enough that I don’t notice a lot of the differences any more. I don’t hear the accents of people I know well. Even better, I don’t hear my own, sticking out like a flat vowel. And I don’t think twice about queuing, revising, pulling, or any of the other verbs I would not be doing in the States. (All right, small joke there. I certainly would think twice about pulling someone, but I wouldn’t find the use of the word unusual.)

There are many things Britain does better than the U.S. However, many Brits will probably be unfamiliar with some of the areas where Americans excel:

1) Marshmallows. My mom just brought me chocolate vanilla swirl marshmallows from Hawaii, but even the most basic American marshmallow is roughly 10,000 times better than the U.K. version. (Also, if you haven’t made a s’more, do so now.)

2) Return policies. Many stores in the U.S. offer a full money-back guarantee, no questions asked. This is typical for expensive items, but even includes a lot of shoes and coats. The idea is that customers won’t abuse the system if the products they buy are good. It also means that you can return shoes that make your toes bleed. That seems sensible to me.

3) Animals. This is a blameless discrepancy, but it exists nonetheless. I grew up with moose, brown bears, black bears, porcupine, wolves, coyote, foxes, lynx, salmon, orcas, belugas, eagles, owls and hummingbirds. Many states, while lacking moose, offer a similarly diverse wildlife population. Bottom line: If you want to see wild animals, head for the American hills.